We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
