called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
