New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
