Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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