haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
