their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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