The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
