idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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