Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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