that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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