He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
