If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
