Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
