Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
