Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he shaved USA in his pubs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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