Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
