i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
