His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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