What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
