i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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