I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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