You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
