Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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