Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
