Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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