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• (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle

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• (631): View more from New York

  well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots

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• (631): View more from New York

  He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food

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