So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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