So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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