nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
