Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
