Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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