Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
