Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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