you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i would punch a child for taco bell
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
