The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize