I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
