well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
