Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The air was thick with penises
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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