I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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