it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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