Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
