if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
