are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
