WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
