drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
