Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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