but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
