Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
