It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
