I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
